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It only takes one quick Google search to understand that the Internet can be unforgiving when it comes to bad translations. However, no mistranslation has a legacy quite as long as the 19th Century Portuguese-English phrase book, O Novo Guia da Conversação em Portuguez e Inglez, em Duas Partes, or as it is known more conventionally, English As She is Spoke.

In 1855, Pedro Carolino intended to create an English phrasebook for Portuguese students. Not only did he not speak English, he didn’t even have a proper tools to write an English textbook. He had a Portuguese-to-French phrasebook and a French-to-English dictionary. Having taken this linguistic scenic route, many of the translations are unintentionally humorous. The section Idiotismos, somewhat aptly, is translated to “idiotisms” rather than the correct idioms. Here is one gem, an exchange from the section whose theme is games and sports, called“The gaming ”:

• I don’t like the play. / Não gósto dê jôgo. Só jógo para passár ô têmpo.
• Every one has played, except you. / Tôdos pozérão, exépto Vm.
• True. I had not seen it I am very unhappy alwes I lose. / É verdáde, não tínha reparado. Sôu bêm infelíz, sêmpre pérco!
• We do ought. / Devêmos.

While they provide many of us with a quick laugh, mistranslations like these can be an embarrassing oversight, and often, a non-professional translator (or computer program) is responsible for that mistake. English As She is Spoke fails in the most spectacular way. It’s worth a read. You can find it online, free, here on Google Books. The new edition edited by Paul Collins and published through McSweeney’s provides the original Portuguese, which you can find on Amazon here.